I’ve spent today getting paint and trying to finish off our decking outside.. it half way there nearly done!

 I am going to finish it off today, yay!

“Breakdown”

I hope this old train breaks down
Then I could take a walk around
And, see what there is to see
And time is just a melody
All the people in the street
Walk as fast as their feet can take them
I just roll through town
And though my windows got a view
The frame I’m looking through
Seems to have no concern for now
So for now

I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown

This engine screams out loud
Centipede gonna crawl westbound
So I don’t even make a sound
Cause it’s gonna sting me when I leave this town
All the people in the street
That I’ll never get to meet
If these tracks don’t bend somehow
And I got no time
That I got to get to
Where I don’t need to be
So I

I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I wanna break on down
But I cant stop now
Let me break on down

But you cant stop nothing
If you got no control
Of the thoughts in your mind
That you kept in, you know
You don’t know nothing
But you don’t need to know
The wisdoms in the trees
Not the glass windows
You cant stop wishing
If you don’t let go
But things that you find
And you lose, and you know
You keep on rolling
Put the moment on hold
The frames too bright
So put the blinds down low

I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I wanna break on down
But I cant stop now

I am fucking pissed off so much so I am just going to end up crying, after a crappy arugement with the BoyToy this morning,  the wedding shoes have been cancelled yet again and now my dishwasher is playing up, bubbles everywhere..

Moment of truth after doing a pre-wash..

Bubbles!!! Oh shit,  not good, mental note to self don’t put bleach in the dishwasher.. I am now waiting for all the bubbles to go and try a Quick wash…

Wish I had stayed in bed…

After my pervious two posts, regarding children, as my degree course is only 3 years long, we have decided as a couple to try for our first child in the next two/three years then I’ll take a year out and then find a job.

I am pretty happy with desicion as BoyToy doesn’t want to be an old dad and he wil be only 33/34 years old when we have our first, we have the house, he is (hopefully) getting a job promoted to an extra 5 grand a year so we will be comfortable so why should we wait too long.

Anyway wedding planning is going well, we paid our despoit on the reception hall and now just awaiting the cater price.. I’m just planning how I would ike everything laid out at the reception hall.

And Uni starts in less than 4 weeks, I am sooo excited, can not wait to learn all these new programming languages, scripts and database management skills.

I’ve been working all bank hol weekend and had to get up at 6am this morning after working a late the night before till 11pm, I am so tired///

Not alot is going on this evening, I babysat my brother all day, we tried to go swimming but it wouldn’t let children in before 1.30pm and it was only 11am, we weren’t going to wait so we can going to try again on Thursday.I managed to get hold of the whiskers cheap kitten food from the small mountain at ESK, and I picked up 5 boxes as my babies don’t like the can ones.. bless..

Oh and here are some photos that make me smile loads!!

Just to explain…

It’s not that I’m saying I don’t want children, it’s just my personal view that I have worked so hard for this degree to stop during the 4 year period and have a baby as it would not be fair on me, my husband or our future child(ren) as I wouldn’t be able to give all my attention.

 

I’m not saying get pregnant then a week after giving birth go back to work, I would go back to work after a year then my partner would look after the child(ren), I wouldn’t want a stranger with my child(ren).

 

I am more broody then anyone else but I know I couldn’t have a child right now, we haven’t the money, I’m starting uni, we want to save at least 5 grand before a child and my partner is changing his job.
Hope I’ve explained myself and you don’t think I am an arse didn’t mean to come across like that.

After the question was raised on lavish.nu about being a Stay At Home Mum for the sake of a career, I was thinking where I stand on this issues.

Personally, I’ve worked sooo hard to get into one of the top uni’s in England to study Computer Science, that I will never be a SAHM it is not who I am.

I believe children are important and I do want to have two children maybe when I’m 28 or 30.  I feel I have no rush and everyone keeps asking me when are me and BoyToy are having them and even asking are we getting married because we have one on the way (uh no!).

I have to complete my degree so 4 years that will make me 27 then I want find a good job which has progess for me to become an IT manager also allow me to study for my Masters (the degree after the one I complete) and hopefully my doctorate (part-time of course).

BoyToy is going to be 30 by the time we are married so he will be late 30s before we have children, I don’t feel bad about him being older than most people having children as he understands how important my degree is to me.  But he is aduty manager at my shop so he earns a good wage and would go part-time when we have children so he can be a stay at home dad as he dislikes his job and would prefer it, personally that is fine with me, he can stay at home and I can bring home the bacon!

Also after I have children I would not mind studying for my teaching degree which would mean I could complete a life time goal of teaching ICT to secondary school children but life is full of things I would love to do

Don’t get me wrong, I think people who stay at home to look after thier children are amazing, my best mate does it and loves it so much but saying that she is also going back to school to study Beauty and Health as my god daughter is now nearly 2.

I think if you can afford to be a SAHM then you should do it but I also wouldn’t feel guilty if you work and have children after all women can multi-task..

I’m soo knacked, my feet cain!  I just worked a 9 hour shift so it was really hard work today, probably because I haven’t been at work for two weeks…. urgh.

Am at muthers right now as I have to wait till 11pm until BoyToy finished work and then another 9 hour shift tomorrow…

 I am now watching x-factor and want to sleeeeep.

Info
[x] I am shorter than 5′4.
[x ] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
[x ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x] I have a tattoo.
[] I am self-conscious about my appearance (sometimes)
[ ] I have/I’ve had braces.
[x] I wear glasses
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[ ] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[x ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[ ] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[ ] I’ve run away from home.
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old
[ x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I’ve lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I’m in school
[ x] I have a job
[x] I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[ x] I’ve missed a week or more of school.
[] I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I’ve stolen something from my job
[ ] I’ve been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I’ve peed from laughing.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[x ] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[ ] I’ve had my pants rip in public.

Health
[] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I’ve gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I’ve broken a bone
[] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[ xx] I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.
[ ] I’ve had measles

Traveling
[ ] I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[ ] I’ve been to Canada.
[ ] I’ve been to Mexico.
[ ] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I’ve been to Japan.
[ ] I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ x] I’ve been to Europe.(I live there)
[ ] I’ve been to Africa.

Experiences
[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[x] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[ ] I’ve wished on a shooting star
[x] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x ] I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ x] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x ] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I’ve been to a casino.
[ ] I’ve been skydiving
[ ] I’ve gone skinny dipping.
[x ] I’ve played spin the bottle.
[ ] I’ve drunk a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I’ve crashed a car.
[ x] I’ve been Skiing.
[x] I’ve been in a play.
[ ] I’ve met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I’ve seen the Northern lights.
[ ] I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I’ve played chicken.
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone
[ x] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I’ve eaten sushi.
[ x] I’ve been snowboarding.

Relationships
[] I’m single
[ ] I’m in a relationship
[ x ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[ ] I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced.
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[ x ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[x ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
[ ] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[ x] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex, even a worshipful one.
[x ] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
[ x] I am a cuddler.
[ x] I’ve been kissed in the rain.
[ x] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[x ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[ ] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[x ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x ] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I’ve cheated on a test.
[ ] I’ve run a red light.
[ ] I’ve been suspended from school.
[ ] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[ ] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[ ] I’ve been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x ] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[x ] I regularly drink.
[x ] I’ve passed out from drinking.
[x ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x ] I’ve smoked weed
[ ] I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
[ ] I’ve eaten shrooms.
[ ] I’ve popped E.
[ ] I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I’ve done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[ x] I shut others out when I’m depressed.
[ x] I take anti-depressants. (I was)
[ ] I’m anorexic or bulimic.
[ ] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[ x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose
[] I’ve woken up crying.

Death and Suicide
[x] I’m afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[ ] I’ve seen someone dying.
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I’ve planned my own suicide.
[ ] I’ve attempted suicide.
[ ] I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[x ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[] I can sing well.
[ ] I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x ] I open up to others easily. You ask me a question I’m most likely going to answer it.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don’t kill bugs. (Fleas and Ticks, and the occasional mosquito, are the exception)
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[ x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I’m a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ x] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have “x”s in my screen name.
[ x] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam
[ x] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day
[ x] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue, dark red.
[] I’ve worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[] I eat fast food weekly.
[ x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate
[ x] I bite my nails
[x] I play video games.
[ ] I’m good at remembering names.
[ ] I’m good at remembering dates.
[ x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] All of those are answered honestly

=) Entertaining while waiting for the BoyToy to get out the bath so we can so look at this reception hall..

So I have been taking loads of pictures today with my digi cam, loads of Arthur because she is a poser, I would take pictures of Kitty but she doesn’t stay still for a second.

Anyway after posing loads of pictures of Arthur posing and looking very cute on deviantART, I caught her in the act of drinking my water!!!

Naughty kitten, off to take more piccies

Parcel Detail
The status of the parcel you’ve enquired about is displayed below.
Parcel number:	PBLM1555430001
Service:	Parcelforce 24
Status:	In progress
Last tracked at:	Tonbridge Depot

Yay!! Not long should be in the next hour or two!!

Not alot happened this morning had to get up at 6.30am to wait for our new tumble dryer to be delivered at 7am, it came at 9.30am go figure, two and half hours late…

Am just awaiting on the post, I ordered my sisters birthday presents, season 5 of Buffy, BoyToy’s PSP, my headphones and my camera?!?!?!